Follow along the crazy path that my husband and I never expected to take while trying to conceive our first baby.


Pity Party At My House

So last night was not a good night. And for basically a stupid reason. Let's blame it on being tired.

I came home from work, changed into sweats, got dinner together for my husband and me, played with my puppies, and watched the season finale of Design Star (seriously, Meg-The-Smoker-Voice won?!) I grabbed the clean laundry that had been sitting in the dryer for way too many days and went upstairs to put it away. While I was upstairs, my husband's phone rang and it was his good friend from high school who he had not heard from in awhile.

While I was upstairs putting laundry away, I could hear my husband ending his conversation and saying goodbye. He immediately yelled upstairs to me, "Guess what? I have some news." I yelled back down, "What?" and he went on to tell me that his good friend and his wife were pregnant again, and that it was a total accident. My hubby then said that his friend's wife was not happy about it and really pissed off.

Upstairs, I was just instantly annoyed. My hubby's friend has a wonderful life on the surface- a lovely custom made home, nice cars, dream jobs, the nicest of absolutely everything, a one-year-old, and they travel constantly. They live a life that I do not necessarily wish I had as I am very content with my own, but they are able to do things with ease that my hubby and I have to work really hard included. Now, they are having another kiddo, and they are mad about it?? Um, this basically put me over the edge.

After I finished putting laundry away, I came down and sat on the couch by my husband. I told him that I could not believe that she was mad about being pregnant and that I did not feel sorry for her at all. After all, pregnancy is completely preventable and if she did not want to get pregnant, she should have done something about that.

And then out of no where, I burst into tears. For the first time since starting on this pregnancy journey, I cried about it. My husband was really sweet and said, "Don't cry, it will happen for us, we basically just started trying. It's not a big deal." I tried to stop the tears, but I just couldn't. I ended up making just an ugly face in attempts to. Totally not cute at all. I told my hubby that it's just annoying- it's like we don't even have a chance at getting pregnant and here is someone who can easily afford to have another child, should consider changing her name to Fertile Mertile, and here they are mad about it! I told my husband that I just felt so frustrated and that it just got to me. Sorry, but his friend has absolutely no sympathy from me.

Totally the wrong time to say this, but my husband then said, "My mom asked me again today when we are having kids." Basically the tears stopped instantly and I was just pissed. Maybe enraged would be a better word. She asks this question to us CONSTANTLY! I recognize that it is partially our faults as we have not shared with our family that we have been trying for a baby and I know that she has good intentions. However, every single time I see my in-laws they ask this question. Like it's no big deal to just pop out a kid. My hubby and I have only been married for 2.5 years and we both work. I have explained to my in-laws countless times that when they are able to quit their jobs and drive over an hour to our home to watch our child Monday through Friday, we'll consider it. Still, they act like it's nothing! I told my hubby that I am going to write a blog about all of the things that if I hear a few more times, I might seriously snap! So look forward to that!

My hubby reminded me that I have a doctor's appointment next week and that I am doing what I can do to allow us to get pregnant. I calmed down a bit and said that I know he's right, it just gets so frustrating sometime. I must have had a lot more frustration and sadness built up than I realized as I just could not hold back tears.

I woke up today and I am not going to lie- I was still annoyed that they are actually pissed about having another child, but I also woke up and realized that it is out of my hands at this point in terms of us getting pregnant. I know that each month I am doing all that I can do and I feel proud about that. I know that we will become parents eventually and like my best friend told me, when it does happen, it will just be so perfect and that baby will be totally worth it. I know she is absolutely right. I think I just need to have more patience which is much easier said than done.

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